


Unfortunately Uncensored

by lil_pianissimo



Category: Free!
Genre: Basically Momo is very horny, Dreams, Horny Teenagers, M/M, Not Serious, Parody, Rin is oblivious, Sexuality Crisis, Shower Sex, So Wrong It's Right, Sorry Not Sorry, Swimming Pools, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, This was written for fun, Wet Dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-19 08:05:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18133106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lil_pianissimo/pseuds/lil_pianissimo
Summary: Momotarou Mikoshiba had a small problem...He just might have a thing for his senpai.*Or where Momo starts having very weird dreams about Rin because he's a horny teenager and Rin Matsuoka is a sexy piece of man. Comedy ensues.





	Unfortunately Uncensored

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS A COMPLETE PARODY. This story isn't supposed to be taken seriously, I just thought the scenario would be really funny. We've all been there, right?

Momotarou had a small problem; he just might have a thing for his senpai.

It all started when he saw his cleavage, well, not cleavage, but it sure did look like it! So that really threw him off, but then he had to go and do that “draw me like one of your French girls” pose which, technically, wasn’t _that_ pose, he supposed he was just lounging, but it didn’t look like that to him! He didn’t think much of it then, but then he started having dreams, like, _those_ dreams. The _weird_ dreams (he was at least expecting Gou first, sheesh), but these dreams made him really uncomfortable. He would’ve called them nightmares, but he couldn’t because the only thing that scared him about the dreams was that he liked them, or at least while he was having them.

The dreams are always in his first person point of view and the dreams go one of two ways: he either watches Rin-senpai do something explicit, and embarrassing, and completely unrated, like dirty, _really_ dirty, or his senpai is above him, on his bed (senpai’s bed) completely dominating him (he finds that he dangerously enjoys the former the most)! They’re nice at first, but then he wakes up at night with something he shouldn’t have! Nitori-senpai almost caught him once, _once_ , and he about chucked himself out the window from the anxiety. Now, he sneaks out to the restrooms and hopes, and prays, that nobody else happened to be in there at the same time he was. He didn’t like them, well, he did, but he didn’t; he hated them! Well, not really, but he swore he wanted to! He honestly didn’t know how to feel anymore.

His senpai was astonishingly attractive, he’s always recognized that, but that was just as like a “bro-thing”. You know, like, “Hey, bro, you look pretty sick today, but no homo, just paying a manly compliment to an equally manly bro, you get me, bro?” Not the best example, yeah, but that was the gist of his point! There was never any infatuation involved, it was more like admiration because his senpai was just amazing and he really looked up to him; now he couldn’t even look his way.

This whole situation had him questioning everything he thought he knew about himself too, like, did he even like Gou? Of course he did! They were destined soulmates, for sure! Then where did that leave him? Well, bisexuality he guessed, but he never thought of himself as bi before, only straight. Then again, he had never even remotely been into guys at all until now, possibly, he still didn’t really know what this was. Dammit, Rin-senpai is fucking everything up! Why does he have to be so drop-dead, stupid gorgeous?! No, he wasn’t gorgeous, well, dammit! What is wrong with him?!

He thought as he rammed his head into the pool wall, again (wow, it really hurt this time). “Ouch! Aw, man, I totally had that!” He complained as he rubbed the top of his head heatedly.

“Come on, kid, again?” Takuya-senpai asked exasperatedly at his failure, “You have got to pay more attention.” Momotarou looked down ashamed.

“Yeah, don’t lose focus, Momo!” Minami-senpai chimed in with gusto and a thumbs up for good measure. Momotarou smiled enthusiastically and turned around to try again but gave himself whiplash in the process. He slowed himself back down and held his head because his brain was bouncing off the walls of his skull and he felt completely nauseous with his eyeballs spinning so fast. “Hey, Momo, you ok?”

“My head his spinning…” No, his _eyes_ were spinning, his _head_ was on a bounce house having a ball; he groaned from overthinking these personifications.

“Hey, captain!” _Oh, great,_ because Rin-senpai was _exactly_ what he needed right now amidst his sexual confusion. He grumbled and sank lower into the water as he heard soft footsteps approach from above.

“Hey, Momo,” he looked up from where his face was half above the surface of the water and saw his senpai sitting on the balls of his feet with a mildly concerned expression on his face, “is everything alright? They told me you hit your head.” Rin was soaking wet, from head to toe, with pool water (but that was not the first thing he thought of when he saw him _dripping_ and _panting_ ) and his hair was wildly swept back from the swim cap, but piece by piece his hair fell to frame his face dangerously. Not to mention the angle he was precariously given left Momo staring directly at… Momo’s face flushed bright pink at his own perverted thoughts and promptly ducked his head under the water as inappropriate memories of his senpai flooded into his head. “Hey!” He heard Rin’s muffled scream as he slowly peeked his head out unsuccessfully avoiding eye-contact. “Come on, let me check you out.”

He paled, “What?!” Rin blinked confused.

“To see if you’re alright?” Momo blushed, of course senpai wouldn’t say something like that. That was embarrassing, “You must’ve hit your head harder than I thought.” Wait, is that what this was about? He hadn’t even noticed he was so distracted…absolutely not by Rin’s assets…definitely not.

Rin offered him a hand and he grabbed it a little unwillingly and was led to one of the benches where he laid down upon Rin-senpai’s intimidating request. Rin touched his forehead gently (he didn’t know he could be gentle!) which made him nervous and Rin slightly less stressed.

“You don’t have a fever or anything, so that’s good.” He then stared at him with a vulgar intensity (which wasn’t really) and started spewing out questions left and right. “What’s your full name?”

“Momotarou Mikoshiba.”

“How old are you?”

“Sixteen.”

“Where are you right now?”

“Samezuka Swim Club.”

Rin’s face turned sly, “What’s my sister’s name?”

“Gou-san!” He screamed shooting up from his spot on the bench, again, whiplash. Ow.

“Yeah, you’re fine; just lay here and rest for a little bit, ok?” He gave Momotarou the most sympathetic look as he ruffled his hair giving Momo butterflies.

“No, I’m fine, Senpai! I can swim!” He went to get up, but his senpai sat him right back down with a small, soft, (dare he say?) adorable smile and shook his head.

“I get that you’re eager, but you just about concussed yourself and I don’t want you getting hurt. Your health is what’s most important, plus, a little rest can do you some good; you’ve been working really hard, so just trust me.” Yeah, ok, he’ll trust him. He has got a way with words, did he know that? Probably. It wasn’t so bad, he guessed, because he got to watch senpai leave; seriously, what was wrong with him?! His senpai’s got him rethinking his whole sexual identity! Momotarou pressed his palms against his eyes and groaned for what felt like the umpteenth time that day. He wasn’t stupid, contrary to popular belief, so this had to be some kind of sick attraction, maybe even a fetish, which was exactly the thing he didn’t want.

After some time (he wasn’t sure how much he was stupid) Nitori-senpai had woken him up to go to the showers (yes, he had fallen asleep) because everybody else was heading down. He was super drowsy and lucky for him he didn’t have one of those dreams, well, as far as he knew because he couldn’t remember squat. He eagerly rushed to the shower rooms with Nitori, because he just wanted to go to bed and try to figure out his life again. Once they were down there, he went to his respective locker and began to undress from his bathing suit. He looked around cautiously; if he really was attracted to men too surely he would find something attractive in here, right? But the more he looked the less reaction he felt. He didn’t feel anything looking at all of these half-naked and completely nude guys, like at all. He smiled joyously, so he wasn’t cheating himself, or Gou for that matter.

He pranced over to the showers with the new confidence that he was just as straight as he had always been, at least before he began to rethink everything again, which just so happened to be now because he opened an unlocked stall to see Rin and all or his stripped glory. Momotarou stared in horror as his senpai looked over his shoulder calmly (calmly?!) and bleakly commented, “Oh, I must’ve forgotten to lock the door.” Yeah, you did! “Sorry to subject you to that, Momo,” No, it was fine, _really_ , _it was fine._

Rin didn’t move as Momo continued to stare shamelessly, “Um, Rin-senpai,” he looked from where he was scrubbing his arms with soap. He gulped because this seemed despicably unholy, “do you want me to close the door for you?”

Rin shook his head, “No, it’s fine. I’m almost done so you can use it when I’m finished.” _Oh, ok, that works he guessed._ So, he stayed an uncomfortable mess only a few feet away from the man that’s got him second guessing. There was a mild thud as Rin clumsily dropped the soap that he was using, “Oh, fuck.” He muttered as he reached down to retrieve it. _Oh fuck is right._

Momotarou was speechless, actually speechless. How did he just do that? He was right there! Did he not care? Why did he not care?! “Hey,” Crap! Rin-senpai had just said that in his deep, husky voice that he definitely didn’t think was sexy! Not at all! But seriously he was really scary. “Don’t stare so much.” He said as he flicked his forehead and went back to the running water to finish washing his hair. Wait, what?! Didn’t he just pick up the soap? If he had been staring long enough for him to put soap in his hair then this was more humiliating than the “checking him out” incident.

Somebody whistled from behind Momotarou which made both Rin and himself turn around at the sudden sound, “Nice accessories, Captain! Pretty egotistical of you to have the door open to flaunt yourself in the shower!”

Rin blushed madly exploding at the teaser with quick wit, “I can kick your scrawny ass off the team, Minami! I have the power!” He could not believe two men were screaming across the showers at each other in the nude.

Minami laughed, as did everyone else.

Rin smirked, that sinful smirk that set everyone off (Momo in a different sense as of now) “At least I have something to flaunt. I’d want to cover myself up if I looked like you too.”

Damn, that’s rough Minami-senpai, you might need some Aloe Vera because that burn’s going to scar if you don’t treat it.

Minami gaped as the room erupted in immature gawking at the banter, “You take that back!”

Rin shrugged cockily, “Sorry, I don’t fancy lying to someone’s face.”

Everybody continued to literally die at their captain’s quick wit. Minami gave up, defeated in the act of sarcastic war, as the laughter simmered down, and everyone went back to their own devices.

Well, that was fun, and… Oh. My. God, there are soap suds rolling down Rin’s back like Rick Astley, and he sure as hell isn’t giving this up! No, but seriously this should be illegal, like, senpai, Lucifer called and he wants his sin back! He stopped to think… this was weird, right? This was horrible, literally, Rin isn’t doing anything different and his mind is turning it into something that it isn’t. He was a terrible person, hands down.

“Hey, senpai, I think I’m just going to go to a different shower…”

“No, I’m done, sorry to make you wait. Get in here.”

What.

“You mean now?!” But he was still in it!

“Yeah, I’m getting out now. It would be pointless to turn off the water because you’re getting in, right?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Rin turned around to grab his towel off the hook on the door, the door that Momo was leaning against, and Momotarou flat out freaked out completely flushed, which in turn made Rin lose his shit, “Oh my god, Momo, what is wrong with you?!”

He swallowed the anxiety in his throat (like a pill) and began to stammer, “Nothing! It’s just, um,” He’s not sure why he’s never noticed before, not that he wanted to, “aren’t you a little too big down there?”

Rin looked down where he pointed curious and looked back at him with a smirk, “Don’t worry, you’ll grow.” What the hell just happened? Did he really just compliment his senpai’s dick? He wanted to slap himself this could not get any worse. Rin then got a look of sympathy (for why?), put a hand on his shoulder, and whispered real close to his face giving him goosebumps, “I’ll lock the door behind you because it looks like you’ve got a little problem to deal with.” What? His senpai motioned downward with his eyes and when Momo followed his face was the color of pure humiliation. He was hard, like really hard, painfully hard and his senpai had actually seen it. He covered his face; he sure hoped to god that this wasn’t because of Rin, please, God, if you love him, let it be a coincidence! But Rin just smiled softly (again with the softness! This guy was like a professional Care Bear at this point!) And continued to console, “Hey, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about! It happens to me all the time.” Wait, hold the phone.

“It does?!” He was surprised he had never seen him with a boner ever, like, literally, ever!

Rin nodded, “Yeah, after practice or a relay. I get it, the adrenaline rush that comes with swimming can get a little too exciting!”

Adrenaline? Oh, that must’ve been it! He’s not into Rin-senpai at all, he’s just been working too hard, and because he’s the captain he’s confusing his feelings of admiration with overtaxing!

Momotarou smiled wildly, “Right!” Rin rubbed his head again, laughing this time (which made him feel a little something, but now he knew it was just adrenaline) and walked out of the stall with a towel around his waist.

“Ok, I’m going to lock this stall and pretend nothing happened, alright? See you later, kiddo.” He finished as he closed the stall door hearing a click behind him. Wow, that could’ve gone worse and now he knew what was actually causing all of this! It was more plausible than him being bi that’s for sure. At least he thought so because he had never liked guys that way until Rin-senpai, and it wasn’t even like that. He was worrying for nothing! Maybe he could actually sleep well at night now.

              No, no, this was not ok, he was not ok! It was supposed to be an adrenaline rush; he should not be having these dreams! This one in particular was giving him the most uncomfortably, most puzzlingly satisfying hard-on he had had with one of these things, like, ever. The dream seemed like some of the others at first, but this one was a mix of _both scenarios_. Usually it’s either him watching, or Rin pursuing, but, _no_ , this time Momo was pressed against the shower wall (by Rin, mind you, which he was not enjoying) and he was decorated in a complete birthday suit, while his senpai was in a legit tuxedo. He had no idea why he was naked, or why he didn’t have a problem with it, but his senpai looked very intense and it was making him feel a certain kind of way. His beautiful magenta hair was pulled back sloppily and his eyes looked prepared to do the _worst_ (he was not sure if he was ok with whatever dream Rin was thinking, just so that’s clear).

His senpai clicked his tongue, and in a voice far too husky he said, “I’m not playing this game, Momo.” He talked? Rin never spoke a peep in his dreams! His blood was cold, yet it was coursing dangerously through his very horny veins (that’s weird, by the way).

“What’s wrong, Rin, afraid you’ll lose?” What was that? What was he doing; this was madness! He would never tempt his senpai like that, let alone address him by name!

His senpai smirked hazardously, which had Momo gasping for air that was just not there. It also didn’t helped that his very bulky arms were placed on either side of him and his handsomely sculpted face was mere centimeters away from his. “Ever heard the idiom, mess with the bull you get the horns?” Oh, god, this was one of those dreams wasn’t it?

“Lucky for you, I don’t mind the horns.” Jesus, this was dominatrix shit (Well, he doesn’t really know what that is, but it’s used a lot in porn, he knows.) This was asinine, this was terrifying, but only because he was so, totally, absolutely, into this.

He was absorbed, and his senpai whispering, threatening sweet nothings into his ear made it that much juicier (gross, Momo).

Rin sneered once more, “You’re all bark and no bite.” Why did his mind convert his senpai to speaking in idioms? That didn’t make any sense. “Unfortunately, for you,” he began to teasingly strip his jacket away, “I have the latter.” He flashed his teeth, that stress him to no end, and was now completely dressed to impress, meaning, in this case, nothing at all.

Momo felt himself smirk, “Let’s play a game, senpai.” Great, now he has a thing for Jigsaw; nobody quotes Jigsaw when they are about to get fucked. That would be a whole different Saw movie.

Now, he was petrified. This was actually happening. In his dreams, they never did _these_ things, it was always Rin doing something, but it was never done _to_ him. His senpai stuck his fingers in his mouth and dream him completely lathered them with saliva. This was so sexual, he was going to piss himself!

“Momo,” Rin whispered; Momotarou was completely out of it, “Momo,” he said louder this time, but it was still so hot!

“Momo-kun!” Momotarou woke up screeching like a new born baby eagle and somehow managed to bang his head on the bed stand, which hurt like the dickens. Why was he always hitting his head? He held his noggin and looked to his senpai with tears prickling his eyes.

“Ow, what was that for, Nitori-senpai?” Nitori looked very uncomfortable, also mildly annoyed, and stared anywhere but at Momo as he stood awkwardly on the ladder.

“I came back late from practice and you were talking in your sleep, so I couldn’t.”

What? Momo was confused, he thought for three very long seconds. Oh, _oh_. He flushed a million shades of burgundy and sat up straight in his bed, trying to cover up his shameful face with the bedsheets.

“I am so sorry, Nitori-senpai! I was, well, it was kind of-“

Nitori put up a hand, with a small, very forced smile, “It’s ok, Momo-kun, just try to control yourself, I guess.”

Momo was traumatized as Nitori started to tiredly make his way back to the bottom bunk. Despite the exhaustion weighing him down, the events of the uncomfortably debauched fantasy and his roommate scolding him were heavy on his mind and prevented him from the sleep he desired. It was one of those moments where you are the product of the most terribly mortifying experience and because of your shameful failures, you are incapable of thinking about anything else. He groaned and pressed his palms to his sockets, rubbing them woozily.

“Momo-kun, go to bed.” He covered his mouth, so Nitori-senpai was still awake.

“Sorry,” He suddenly had a sinking thought, “hey, about that thing…”

“I said it was fine, Momo.”

“Yeah, but-“

“We are not talking about it.”

“But I-“

“Forget about it, Momo!” Well, that had gone swimmingly. He sat his head back down on his pillow and remained in uncomfortable silence before he decided to try again.

“Nitori-senpai,” he began, testing the waters, “what kind of things was I saying?”

Nitori was silent until he turned onto his back and stared up at the bed above him. “It was nothing coherent, mostly just a bunch of mumbling and the occasional grunt.” Oh, well, that wasn’t as bad as he had thought. He thought he would be satisfied with that answer, but he still couldn’t get the dream out of his mind. Momotarou felt like a broken record with the constant groaning, but he felt, begrudgingly, that he should really address this issue because at this point he is so beyond confused that it was eating him alive.

He peeked over the edge of the top bunk, “Nitori-senpai, may I ask for some advice?” This made Nitori perk up and sit upright in his bed.

“Sure. You can come down to talk, if you want.” He did. Momo stalked down the stairs as Nitori tried to observe him in the pitch darkness. He sounded troubled, which was why he accepted in the first place. That and if he needed someone to talk to he wasn’t going to say no; that would be terribly insolent and he would be drowning in guilt. As Momo sat down, cross legged on his bed Nitori asked him what he wanted to talk about, the younger stammered.

“Well, I think I have a problem, like something may be wrong with me.”

“What do you mean by that?” Nitori was legitimately concerned with Momo’s concerns; what made him so unconfident? “If it’s something with swimming, you know you have the best backstroke on the team, so you have nothing to worry about.”

He shook his head, “No, it’s not about swimming, I know I have the best time, it’s more personal than that, I think anyway.” Nitori waited for him to continue, “I’m just really confused ok?”

“About what, schoolwork?”

“No, just, everything!” Now Nitori was confused. Momotarou flushed, “I’ve been having weird dreams,” Nitori cringed, and Momo shot up defensively, “but it’s not what you think! Actually, it probably is, but it’s not because I don’t like them, well, no! I definitely do not! Capital N. O. T! But they aren’t just dreams, senpai, they’re affecting my everyday life, and it is distracting! I can’t take it anymore!” Nitori held out both hands to signal him to chill, “Sorry, but seriously, I’m really perplexed. I don’t know what to do.”

The silver-haired boy felt bad for Momo, but mostly disturbed if he had to be honest; if anything, he was going to do his best to help him.

“So,” Momo perked up, “are these dreams, like, inappropriate?” Momo nodded embarrassed, “Okay, so, um, what makes them confusing?” Nitori thought wet dreams were pretty self-explanatory, so he didn’t understand the issue.

Momo flushed an even deeper pink, “It’s about a guy.” _Oh._ Nitori had no idea how to approach this at all. He had to think about this, he had to play this out carefully because as far as Nitori was aware Momo was as straight as a ruler or portrayed himself as such. This could get touchy.

“That’s fine, that’s normal, actually. No big deal.”

“You’re bluffing.”

“What? No! No, I’m not, really, I’m sure everybody has a gay dream now and then.”

“It’s been going on for two months.”

 _Oh._ “Well, that’s normal too!”

“I know when you’re lying, senpai, you smile awkwardly and avoid eye contact.”

“What? No, I don’t!” He said as he did just that, “Whatever, Momo, it’s not like it’s someone we know, so you’re good!” The boy gave him a sad look of desperation and his heart sank. _Oh._

“Ok, is it someone in school?” Momo nodded, Nitori took an uncomfortable chance, “It’s not me, is it?”

Momotarou cringed, “Gross, no!” Nitori felt a weight lift off of his chest and breathed a sigh of relief.

“Good! I mean, darn.”

“Stop that.”

“Sorry, so they go to Samezuka?”

“Yeah.” Nitori suddenly got a funny, slightly giddy, feeling as he thought through all of the contenders it could possibly be. If it was who he thought it was then Momo was over reacting.

“It doesn’t happen to be Matsuoka-senpai, does it?” Momotarou’s eyes bulged to the size of saucers. Bingo. 

He tripped over his words, “How did you get that so quickly?!” He gasped and put his hands up in a karate chop position, “are you a secret mind reader?”

“No, Momo, that is the most normal thing ever!”

“What, mind readers?”

Nitori rolled his eyes and scoffed, “No, having a thing for Matsuoka-senpai!”

“No way, really?”

“Yes, wet dreams about Rin,” Nitori laughed some more, “fucking welcome to the club!” Momotarou started bursting at the seams; Nitori never curses! But wait a minute-

“You have them too?” Nitori nodded.

“I used to. Imagine what it’s like being in the same room as him though, that was a nightmare!”

“It must’ve been! I can only wonder.”

Nitori pulled his blanket up closer to his chest and scooted forward, like a dog waiting for a treat. “So, what were your dreams about?”

Momotarou scratched his head awkwardly, “Um, usually he’s doing something and I’m watching, or he’s dominating somehow. You know what I mean?”

“Yeah, I get it. That’s interesting, mine were always about me doing stuff to him.”

Now that was something he was not expecting, “Really? I could never!”

“Well, me neither, but those dreams convinced me otherwise!” He laughed, “You know, he was the reason I started reading gay porn.”

He gasped and chuckled, “No!”

“Yeah! One day, when we were cleaning, he found one, and I could’ve gone into cardiac arrest right there! I swear, a little piece of me died that day. I was so mortified!”

“That’s awful, Nitori-senpai!” Suddenly the room became silent, there felt like there was nothing else to talk about. Now it was beginning to get uncomfortable again as Momo shifted to, maybe, make his way back up to his own bed.

More prolonged silence, “The best thing is when he does the hair flip.”

Momo looked at Nitori, “…or the glare…”

“Or that smirk, but the best is when…”

“…he does the hip thing!” They both died at the unison and Nitori literally gagged in admiration for the beautiful fool.

“Why are we fangirling over Rin-senpai right now? We’re acting like lovestruck girls!”

Nitori popped up from his fainted spot on the bed, “You know what? I think it's worth it."

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote down more, but this was the initial idea for the oneshot. If you want me to post more of Momotarou's mishaps in his sexuality, let me know. I'd be happy to conjure up some more stuff.
> 
> Also, let me know what you think! I like reading comments!


End file.
